More often than not, when I check out an Eclipse project, the author either has no story or something really basic and states that he/she can’t write. So as a creative endeavour, I’ve decided to just look through some projects and pick out some stories and try my hand at rewriting them to be more appealing. Now they may end up being worse but hey atleast I’m being creative 😛

If I do rewrite your story I’ll send you a PM just to let you know and if you want me to rewrite your story then you can put in a request. Mind you, I’m not obliged to actually finish a rewrite if I do start one so don’t pester me about it 🙂 I’m also going to be quite picky about what I choose to work on. If you can show that you’ve been doing some work on your project and have some sort of dedication towards it, you’ll have a better chance of me accepting your request.

But with all things, I may just end up doing one rewrite but hey let’s get started. Do provide some feedback, thank you.

Drachen Eclipse

! A Goddess named Diana had entered the realm of the humans, to live amongst them and create new creatures and life to sprout on the world. Then she created a creature, so terrifying that she had to lock them away in her own Dreams, into a zone known as the Neutral Zone. The creature was called the Dragon. Diana’s dream began breaking out, a portal from the Neutral Zone broke out and monsters and demons began creeping out and spreading around the realm. Diana had to sacrifice her knowledge to shut it, the Goddess was put to eternal sleep with the help of a young warrior. The warrior took down the entire neutral zone without any assistance of any kind. Then before everything was at peace, the dragons roared, and the Dragon God Realm had come to its peak. It was too late.
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! Diana - Probably derived from an old Indo-European root meaning “heavenly, divine”, related to dyeus (see ZEUS). Diana was a Roman goddess of the moon, hunting, forests, and childbirth, often identified with the Greek goddess Artemis.
! Artemis - Meaning unknown, possibly related either to Greek αρτεμης (artemes) “safe” or αρταμος (artamos) “a butcher”. Artemis was the Greek goddess of the moon and hunting, the twin of Apollo and the daughter of Zeus and Leto. She was known as Diana to the Romans.
! Apollo - From Greek Απολλων (Apollon), which is of unknown meaning, though perhaps related to Indo-European *apelo “strength”. Another theory states that Apollo can be equated with Appaliunas, an Anatolian god whose name possibly means “father lion” or “father light”. The Greeks later associated Apollo’s name with the Greek verb απολλυμι (apollymi) meaning “to destroy”. In Greek mythology Apollo was the son of Zeus and Leto and the twin of Artemis. He was the god of prophecy, medicine, music, art, law, beauty, and wisdom. Later he also became the god of the sun and light.
! Leto - Possibly derived from Greek ληθω (letho) “hidden, forgotten”. In Greek mythology she was the mother of Apollo and Artemis by Zeus.
! Zeus - The name of a Greek god, related to the old Indo-European god *Dyeus whose name probably meant “shine” or “sky”. In Greek mythology he was the highest of the gods. After he and his siblings defeated the Titans, Zeus ruled over the earth and humankind from atop Mount Olympus. He had control over the weather and his weapon was a thunderbolt.
! Origins
! In the beginning the God Zeus constructed the world and let his two children, Apollo and Diana onto the Earth. Diana gave birth to life on Earth with her most precious children being the humans. Apollo gave the humans wisdom, medicine, music and art. Everything was great until Diana gave birth to the very first Dragon. A creature so terrifying and powerful, it wrecked havoc on the Earth. The children of Zeus fought this beast on the motherland of the humans, Leto. A land which possesed such beauty, it was turned into a wasteland. To save the rest of the Earth, Apollo and Diana made the ultimate sacrifice giving up their lives to stop the Dragon. Apollo pulled out the fiery soul of the beast and rose up into the darkness of the sky where he sealed the soul within himself becoming the Sun. Diana followed suit, lifting the Dragon’s scaly, grey body into the sky and sealing it within herself becoming the Moon. The life that had survived on Earth began to migrate and as generations passed, their beautiful ancestry land of Leto was lost and forgotten about. Yet the Dragon that almost destroyed their ancestors still even in death had its claws around the Earth, bringing it light from the Sun and dictating the night and the waters with the Moon. Oh, what a cruel twist of fate!
! Comments
! I really like that. For about 15 to 20 minutes of work that is a nice origin story for a universe. The name Zeus could probably be switched with Dyeus if you wanted to kinda seperate yourself from Greek mythology a little. Or maybe a name meaning sky could also work. Diana could be switched with Artemis to solidify the twin nature of Apollo and Artemis. However the name Diana plays nicely with Dragon. I’m pretty happy with being able to incorporate Leto as the ancestry land and with it being wasted and forgotten about that can lead to a nice story point where the player finds Leto and sees the destruction and dwelling of early man. I picture a desert like wasteland with some nice ruins dotted about. There could be inscriptions on the walls of these ruins that tell the above origin story. Apollo and Diana becoming the Sun and the Moon fits nicely with their name meanings and with the Dragon being spilt between the two makes a nice fit for the title, Drachen Eclipse. If you’ve ever seen an eclipse, you’ll know how beautiful yet powerful an eclipse can be. This could play into the story. With the Sun and the Moon being so far apart, the resurrection of the Dragon is kinda impossible but with the alignment and the eclipse maybe that is when this prison is at its weakest and maybe some dark mage who knows the origin story deduces this fact and performs some ritual when the eclipse takes place to try and break the Dragon free. If the Dragon gets out, it is going to be pissed and will destroy the Earth and maybe in his madness this dark mage is trying to take control of the Dragon once it’s out for control of the world or something. And of course the players will try and stop this from becoming a reality.