Timeline / Storyline For My Game. Rate Please!

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Democracy… with a king?

also… damn 15 years of fighting through people… thats… brutal.

also… Lairn is at least 175 by the time he fights Ruthon. I’m figuring age is NO where near what ours is lol.

as for people starting and building civilizations the DAY the world is created is a bit far fetched… Governments are built through trial and error.

If I was to rate… It would be pretty low. So, I’m not going to… but it’s very short, you should probably make more to it. thats a VERY brief history… only 1 conflict occurred in the entire history of the world?

If you want, I could touch this up for you.
Pulls out surgeon gloves

Like ICT suggested, your years are way too far apart. Aurelius gathers an army in the year 235, and get struck down 145 years later. It takes 40 years for them to even begin winning battles. When Lairn comes into play, he spends 145 years searching for materials, 15 years fighting, then 5 more years to hide his sword.

Way too much elapsed time here, with no real driving story to it. The “ultimate weapon” part doesn’t have any force to it, really. It’s just there. The characters you mentioned have very little story to them, and there’s no real feeling of anything drastic happening with either the death of Aurelius or the victory of Lairn. Neither seem to really be very special events because of how little is devoted to them. This probably comes from it being only a timeline, of course, but it just feels so detached and meaningless without the actual story.

Ha, I’ve got a lot of work I need to do! Thanks for the tips, guys.

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