This review contains spoilers. Unless you know your literacy, I actually encourage the reading of it.

Sands of Destruction is a Action/RPG made by Sony and an apparently BADASS team of developers from other masterpieces for the Nintendo DS (Believe me, this was nobody’s magnus opus). Released in January of 2010. The basic plot of the story is that the world is neck-deep in shit (The world is run by furries). Therefore, the only way to improve it is to destroy it. You start out as a country hick that, for the soul reason of deus ex machina, possesses the power to destroy the world by converting matter to sand. Hence SANDS of Destruction.

Well, unless you are a literacyfag, you won’t have any fucking idea of what is going on. The plot was generally dry with bland characters, butchered emotional situations, and a generally dry (haha get it, sand, meh) plot line. The graphics were not all that great; I’ve seen way better shit done in the GFX board here. Apparently the graphics designers decided to use the same sized sprites, even when zoomed way-the-duck in. Thus creating NES-like appearances at times. There were a few nice cut scenes, but often they failed at consistency; for instance, the intro clip contains several scenes that contradict what actually happens in-game. As for gameplay, the game sports quite a unique battle system. Unfortunately, with high encounter rates and poor difficulty consistency. Unless you have an Action Replay device, you will either be way under-leveled or highly over-leveled at any given point. Also, expect for random encounters to be too plentiful. Luckily there is not much weird puzzle shit so dungeons are still doable.

Allusionland (EPIC SPOILER)
Well, as I said earlier,  you probably will not like this game unless you read a lot of shit. Basically, the entire game is a retelling of the book of Revelations (aka the Apocalypse). So yeah, anyway: The world is neck deep in shit; humans are practically slaves to the beastmen (humanoid animals; aka furries. Also mentioned in apocalyptic text[1]) And you play as some hick, Kyrie, who represents Jesus. This is probably the most obvious allusion yet since “Kyrie” is actually Greek for “Lord”, “God”, or more loosely “Jesus” [2].

Right off the bat, you are sent on a quest to find mushrooms in some dank cave for your uncle. Inside you encounter a sand whale. Well, in Jew mythology, two Leviathan (Hebrew for Whale [3]) were created at the beginning of time. “According to legend this refers to the Leviathan and its mate. God created a male and female Leviathan, then killed the female and salted it for the righteous, for if the Leviathans were to procreate the world could not stand before them.” [4]  Well, there are two, but the second one comes later. Basically, you kill it and it symbolizes that it is time for humans to take control of the world.

Alternatively, “In that day the LORD with his sore and great and strong sword shall punish the leviathan the piercing serpent, even leviathan that crooked serpent; and he shall slay the dragon that is in the sea.” (Isaiah 27:1)[5] This, of course, just states what you did. You saw the beast in the cave and killed it with your sword, er, knives.

Well, you complete that bullshit task of initiating the apocalypse, you are accused of being in some conspiracy of ending the world… /facepalm … and are brought to Ursa Rex (Latin for “Bear King”) to deal with. Basically you are about to submit when some voice enters your mind stating “Acta est Fabula”, latin for “The story is over”[7] And you unleash some hax and obliterate hicksville. Well, isn’t that nice.

So you are captured and brought to Sky Gaol (Pronounced “Sky Jail” according to the character speech, which is what it sounds). Inside, you are shortly accompanied by Morte (Latin for death)[6][8] And Agan Mardrus (partial-anagram for aegar morbosus; both words meaning sick or sickly)[6]. They represent two of the four horsemen of the apocalypse[9]; death and pestilence (sickness). Ironically, Morte is also known as “The Scarlet Plague”; which further emphasizes this connection, but associates her to two incorrectly. As for why they decided to do this, I don’t really know. However the first allusion fits better. Anyways, they help you out and shit. Note that the horsemen are to appear as each seal is removed[9]. Therefore there are 5 more events to occur in the apocalypse. Woot.

You now do some bullshit for a few game-hours.
Porcus Rex = Pig King
Lupus Rex = Wolf King
Rana Rex = Frog King
Felix Rex = Cat King

You get some silverweed, a blue rose, and a scepter. You also raid a tomb, kill the second whale, break into a forbidden garden, and break into a high-security jail. Ill dig into those later, they aren’t that interesting so its just briefly summarized.

Taupy the mercenary joins your party. I assume that his job, being a mercenary, makes him the allusion to the horseman of war. But thats more of an assumption.

Rhi’a the last of the dragons joins your party. (This happens later, but I think I should place it here). It is revealed later that the dragons all died off because of some bullcrap. I assume (again) she is famine.

Although the definition of the first four seals are slightly different by source. One goes by “False profit, war, famine, death”[11]. If this one is used, she would be a great false profit concerning how Rhi’a has the ability to foresee the future. If this one is used, then the four characters also are introduced in reverse order and Agan is famine instead. No big deal really.

After a series of shitty events, you are assigned to kill the first of the four primal lords. Apparently they stabilize nature, each possessing a different element; Azure Sea (water snake), Golden Earth (Humanoid statue; associated with earth), Crimson Sun (A lion; associated with fire), and the Jade Wind (an eagle associated with wind). For the lulz, I assume that the developers chose to base the beings off of the four parts of the Cherubim (Eagle, Man, Lion, Ox)[10]. The Azure Sea doesn’t REALLY fit but meh. The others do. So yeah, you kill them one by one as some form of a “test” to see if it really is the end of the world. Remember that we got 3 more seals right? Well, you fight three of the primal lords. The Crimson Sun submits to you. Also, as another allusion to the Cherubim, after the Crimson Sun submits, you gain a badass flaming sword.[12] A flaming sword is described as being wielded by one in Genesis. Joy.

But before all that shit, Kyrie is killed by Naja. Notice how similar this scene is to the betrayal of Jesus in the Bible. He is surrounded by friends and basically allows himself to be killed. [14] Well isn’t that great. Now time for some deep symbolism yo. Naja is a species of venomous snakes [13]. Well, snakes are probably the animal with the most amount of fucking symbols. From vengeance [16] (as Naja kills Kyrie because Kyrie killed Rajiv), rebirth [15] (as Naja attempts to revive Kyrie later), and Satan[17] (Who, according to John and Luke, possessed Judas during Jesus’ betrayal. [18][19][20]. God, that guy is full of it.

Some time at the end, you encounter Lacertus Rex (Alligator King) who fills in the role as the antichrist. “The antichrist will seemingly provide for the needs of the people but deny the ultimate salvation”[21] This guy is apparently the head of the World Destruction Front, effectively making him a deceiver of both sides and making him a triple/quadruple agent of a sort. His proposed solution is also quite inhumane. You also are given the honor of killing him multiple times a la Nostradamus style.

(Source needed for this stuff)
Some more shit happens, you board the Ark, which is a direct reference to Noah’s Ark. Basically, the world was destroyed once before. Ark was used to house the survivors from the previous world. Nostradamus tells that the world will end again in a somewhat similar manner, but not by flood. It was suggested fire, but earth (sand) is used for this game.

Basically, you climb on and find out that God is Kyrie’s er, mother. <__< yeaaahhhh… That was obvious way at the beginning here… Some more shit happens and Morte and Kyrie form a new world.

Ive skipped a lot, but thats most of what I found.

[5] Isaiah 17:1
[6] Latin and English Dictionary
[18] Luke 22:3-6
[19] John 13:27